Hey folks,
One of my New Year's resolutions was to write more, so you'll be seeing me use this blog way more than I have. I'll be trotting out some stuff over the next few days and I'm hoping to make them regular segments. I was originally going to do a Wretro Wrestling Review (which is ready to go) and a Week in WWE Review (which is almost ready to go), but with all the talk about Wrestle Kingdom going on, I figured I'd start with that.
One of my wrestling resolutions this year is to watch more international wrestling. Last year I got way more into the indies, because that's probably what I love watching the most. Promotions like NJPW got pushed by the wayside a bit because I was all-in on that and WWE. I still watched plenty of stuff from Japan and the UK, but I'd like to stay caught up with them going forward.
I do have some problems with New Japan that I'm gonna state outright before the review begins. I don't care much for Gedo as a booker. Yes, he's done some excellent work building up stars. He's done especially well making up for the losses of AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura in the last year. Of course, you can also look at the roster and say, "Of course New Japan was fine without them because they still have the best wrestlers in the world." Gedo also loves wrestlers playing hot potato with championships, to the point where many belts don't matter (seriously, name a championship that matters less than the NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship. I'll wait). While the main events of shows are often incredible, the undercard is often weak, to the point where sometimes it takes two hours into a show before you get to a *good* match.
I've also been turned off the product a bit by New Japan fans. It's silly and stupid to let fans of something ruin a product for me, but it happens. Wrestling has all kinds of awful, annoying fans, but in my experience nothing compares to what I consider the "cult" of NJPW. Of course #NotAllNJPWFans are awful, but I've had a lot of terrible experiences with them. They're the kinds of people that will tell you that New Japan is objectively better than the WWE or American wrestling in general. If you've known me long enough to witness one of my many 2 a.m. rants on Twitter dot com, you'd know nothing triggers me more than people saying any kind of art - music, movies, wrestling, whatever - is "objectively" better than anything. They turn a blind eye to issues with the undercard and Gedo's booking and will say things like "Wrestle Kingdom was the best show I've ever seen," while also telling you that you can basically skip the first two hours of the show. Like I said, there's people like this all over wrestling fandom, but unfortunately New Japan seems to have the highest concentration of cult-like followers in my experience.
If you've read my previous reviews, you know I usually do letter grades instead of the traditional star ratings, because I kind of really hate star ratings. I'll probably stick with letter grades when it comes to weekly television, but I'm going to do star ratings for big shows. Just remember that this is not some sort of objective measurement about how good a match is. It's just my opinion and the strength of rating is just how strongly I recommend each individual match. If you think something I rated low is higher, that's fine! I love to discuss differences in opinion if you're not a dick about me not agreeing with you.
Anyway, I just thought I'd get some of that out of the way so you see where I'm coming from in regards to the company. Let's dive in.
Michael Elgin wins
New Japan Rumble
The New Japan Rumble was fun for what it was, a showcase of
acts that didn’t make the card and some surprises. It’s always fun and goofy
and lovely. Cheeseburger got one of the biggest pops of the night because Japan
loves him, which I forgot. It made me smile. I was kind of disappointed we
didn’t get a faceoff between Big Mike and Scott Norton, really. The nWo Japan
presence in general was great and I love that they’re including Cheeseburger on
their side. My one issue in the match is that it highlights that Big Mike isn’t
on the actual card, and it makes me kind of angry considering some of the
wrestlers who did make the card. **
Tiger Mask W def.
Tiger the Dark
This was another match that was fun for what it was. Apparently, it was pretty true to the anime series, which I haven’t watched, but that’s cool anyway. I’m sure ACH had no problems doing his research for the match. What this match did for me more than anything was make me want a real deal match between ACH and Kota Ibushi without masks and gimmicks. Tell me that wouldn’t be flames. **3/4
This was another match that was fun for what it was. Apparently, it was pretty true to the anime series, which I haven’t watched, but that’s cool anyway. I’m sure ACH had no problems doing his research for the match. What this match did for me more than anything was make me want a real deal match between ACH and Kota Ibushi without masks and gimmicks. Tell me that wouldn’t be flames. **3/4
Roppongi Vice
(Beretta & Rocky Romero) def. The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson) to
win the IGWP Jr. Heavyweight Tag Team Championship
If you watch NJPW, ROH, PWG or whatever other indies these guys have worked together in, you’ve seen this match. It’s a good match. Oftentimes it’s a great match. But that gets in the way and it leaves you bored for a bit sometimes because it’s so familiar. The Jr. Heavyweight Tag division has been dried up for forever with the same guys trading the belts over and over again. Most of the time they don’t even get a successful defense in. So I was bored for a little bit until the insane Beretta spot that took him out of the match (glad he isn’t dead) and the rest of the match was how Rocky would deal with the Bucks basically by himself when most of the time it’s Trent that does the heavy lifting. It ended up being a very fun match and maybe the best match on the undercard. ***1/2
If you watch NJPW, ROH, PWG or whatever other indies these guys have worked together in, you’ve seen this match. It’s a good match. Oftentimes it’s a great match. But that gets in the way and it leaves you bored for a bit sometimes because it’s so familiar. The Jr. Heavyweight Tag division has been dried up for forever with the same guys trading the belts over and over again. Most of the time they don’t even get a successful defense in. So I was bored for a little bit until the insane Beretta spot that took him out of the match (glad he isn’t dead) and the rest of the match was how Rocky would deal with the Bucks basically by himself when most of the time it’s Trent that does the heavy lifting. It ended up being a very fun match and maybe the best match on the undercard. ***1/2
Los Ingobernables
de Japon (SANADA, BUSHI & EVIL) def.
David Finlay, Ricochet & Satoshi Kojima, CHAOS (Jado, YOSHI-HASHI &
Will Ospreay) & Bullet Club (Bad Luck Fale, Hangman Page & Yujiro
Takahashi) to win the NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship
Even with the can of worms we’re about to open with the next match, this was probably the worst thing on the show by a mile. The gauntlet format was the biggest problem. Having to wait for the next team’s introduction twice took juice out of the match. It started with Bullet Club and CHAOS going at it, with Ospreay getting in as much flippy shit as he can in his very, very limited time before they were defeated. LIJ vs. Bullet Club was next, and it was just a mess though thankfully we got very little extra Bullet Club. The finale was LIJ vs. the defending champs, which was by far the best portion of the match. Unsurprisingly it was also the leg of the match with the biggest concentration of talent. Like the first leg, the biggest highlights here came when Ricochet did his thing. One of the most puzzling decisions that Gedo made for this show was not having Ospreay and Ricochet in the ring at the same time. That was one of the hottest things New Japan had last year and you’re not even gonna give us a taste of it on the biggest stage? Maaaaaan. There was some good, but there was also a lot of bad and it didn’t flow well. **1/4
Even with the can of worms we’re about to open with the next match, this was probably the worst thing on the show by a mile. The gauntlet format was the biggest problem. Having to wait for the next team’s introduction twice took juice out of the match. It started with Bullet Club and CHAOS going at it, with Ospreay getting in as much flippy shit as he can in his very, very limited time before they were defeated. LIJ vs. Bullet Club was next, and it was just a mess though thankfully we got very little extra Bullet Club. The finale was LIJ vs. the defending champs, which was by far the best portion of the match. Unsurprisingly it was also the leg of the match with the biggest concentration of talent. Like the first leg, the biggest highlights here came when Ricochet did his thing. One of the most puzzling decisions that Gedo made for this show was not having Ospreay and Ricochet in the ring at the same time. That was one of the hottest things New Japan had last year and you’re not even gonna give us a taste of it on the biggest stage? Maaaaaan. There was some good, but there was also a lot of bad and it didn’t flow well. **1/4
Cody Rhodes def.
Juice Robinson
From a wrestling standpoint, that 6-man gauntlet was probably the worst thing on the show. But it served a purpose because it’s a championship match (even if it’s the most meaningless championship in a company that has a decent amount of meaningless championships). I’m trying to figure out the purpose that putting Cody on the show fulfilled. What I got out of the match is that Juice Robinson is actually pretty dope, and outwrestled Cody by miles. Cody Rhodes joining Bullet Club combined maybe my two least favorite non-WWE things, which are… Cody Rhodes and Bullet Club (like the nWo they worship, they’re waaaaaay past their welcome). Cody’s not a very good heel, and he’s just soooo mediocre in the ring that it’s hard to care about anything. Except Juice Robinson! He looked really good! I’ve barely paid attention to him even on the NJPW shows I watch because he was CJ Damn Parker, but he’s improved a lot. I’d like to see more of him. And less of Cody. At least Gedo isn’t like 99% of all other bookers right now and putting Cody over their top talents. The match isn’t flat out bad, but it’s not very good either. So, it’s a Cody Rhodes match! **1/2
From a wrestling standpoint, that 6-man gauntlet was probably the worst thing on the show. But it served a purpose because it’s a championship match (even if it’s the most meaningless championship in a company that has a decent amount of meaningless championships). I’m trying to figure out the purpose that putting Cody on the show fulfilled. What I got out of the match is that Juice Robinson is actually pretty dope, and outwrestled Cody by miles. Cody Rhodes joining Bullet Club combined maybe my two least favorite non-WWE things, which are… Cody Rhodes and Bullet Club (like the nWo they worship, they’re waaaaaay past their welcome). Cody’s not a very good heel, and he’s just soooo mediocre in the ring that it’s hard to care about anything. Except Juice Robinson! He looked really good! I’ve barely paid attention to him even on the NJPW shows I watch because he was CJ Damn Parker, but he’s improved a lot. I’d like to see more of him. And less of Cody. At least Gedo isn’t like 99% of all other bookers right now and putting Cody over their top talents. The match isn’t flat out bad, but it’s not very good either. So, it’s a Cody Rhodes match! **1/2
Adam Cole def. Kyle
O’Reilly to become ROH Champion
This wasn’t as good as their match at Final Battle, but that’s to be expected because it was allowed maybe half the time. It was another very familiar feeling match like the Jr. Tag was, but it was also very good. I like both of these guys a ton and they usually deliver. With Cole getting the title right back after dropping it at Final Battle, this looks like the end of KOR in ROH. I dunno if he’s gonna do it Elgin-style (and now ACH-style, it seems) and do Japan full time with indie appearances elsewhere, or if he’s reporting to Full Sail soon, but I hope he does well. I like him a whole bunch. ***1/2
This wasn’t as good as their match at Final Battle, but that’s to be expected because it was allowed maybe half the time. It was another very familiar feeling match like the Jr. Tag was, but it was also very good. I like both of these guys a ton and they usually deliver. With Cole getting the title right back after dropping it at Final Battle, this looks like the end of KOR in ROH. I dunno if he’s gonna do it Elgin-style (and now ACH-style, it seems) and do Japan full time with indie appearances elsewhere, or if he’s reporting to Full Sail soon, but I hope he does well. I like him a whole bunch. ***1/2
CHAOS (Toru Yano
& Tomohiro Ishii) def. The Guerillas of Destiny (Tama Tonga & Tanga
Roa) and Team G.B.H. (Togi Makabe & Tomaki Honma) to become IWGP Tag Team
Champions
This was initially just GoD vs G.B.H. and CHAOS was added late in the game. I’m not the biggest fan of Yano in the world but his odd couple tag team with Ishii has potential to be fun. The match is fun and chaotic and there’s plenty of Yano shenanigans (love them or hate them), and that’s about all you need from a match like this. Just have a little fun before we get to the fireworks factory, and man is it some fireworks factory. ***1/4
This was initially just GoD vs G.B.H. and CHAOS was added late in the game. I’m not the biggest fan of Yano in the world but his odd couple tag team with Ishii has potential to be fun. The match is fun and chaotic and there’s plenty of Yano shenanigans (love them or hate them), and that’s about all you need from a match like this. Just have a little fun before we get to the fireworks factory, and man is it some fireworks factory. ***1/4
Hiromu Takahashi def.
KUSHIDA to become IWGP Jr.
Heavyweight Champion
This was my most-anticipated match of the night even with Omega-Okada on the card. KUSHIDA’s been one of my favorite singles wrestlers in the company despite not always having a wide variety of opponents as champion. Meanwhile I’m really excited to see what Takahashi brings to NJPW, because he’s incredible. He’s a perfect addition to LIJ because he’s crazy and he doesn’t give a shit about anything, especially his own body. He wants to destroy KUSHIDA and he doesn’t care if he kills himself doing it. Recklessness like that doesn’t always work, but when you’ve got a character like this, it makes everything more compelling. I think the spot where KUSHIDA catches a flying Takahashi in an armbar is my spot of the night. These guys are so good, and I don’t even think they put on their best match. Excited to see where this goes. ****1/2
This was my most-anticipated match of the night even with Omega-Okada on the card. KUSHIDA’s been one of my favorite singles wrestlers in the company despite not always having a wide variety of opponents as champion. Meanwhile I’m really excited to see what Takahashi brings to NJPW, because he’s incredible. He’s a perfect addition to LIJ because he’s crazy and he doesn’t give a shit about anything, especially his own body. He wants to destroy KUSHIDA and he doesn’t care if he kills himself doing it. Recklessness like that doesn’t always work, but when you’ve got a character like this, it makes everything more compelling. I think the spot where KUSHIDA catches a flying Takahashi in an armbar is my spot of the night. These guys are so good, and I don’t even think they put on their best match. Excited to see where this goes. ****1/2
Hirooki Goto def.
Katsuyori Shibata to become NEVER Openweight Champion
Meanwhile this was probably my least-anticipated match of the top four, because I’m not always the biggest fan of either guy here. They’re still insanely good, but they don’t connect with me like others. There were a few slow sections of this match where they started to lose me, but the violence and pure aggression these two had was phenomenal and kept me in it, and it kept building into something incredible. Goto was a brilliant underdog against an intense Shibata, and him being able to pull it off was a great story. ****1/2
Meanwhile this was probably my least-anticipated match of the top four, because I’m not always the biggest fan of either guy here. They’re still insanely good, but they don’t connect with me like others. There were a few slow sections of this match where they started to lose me, but the violence and pure aggression these two had was phenomenal and kept me in it, and it kept building into something incredible. Goto was a brilliant underdog against an intense Shibata, and him being able to pull it off was a great story. ****1/2
Tetsuya Naito def.
Hiroshi Tanahashi to retain the IWGP Intercontinental Championship
Oh man, they really kept delivering here. Naito’s my dude. He’s such a perfect heel who does so many little things that make you hate his guts. Los Ingobernables de Japon in general is probably the best stable in all of wrestling right now. This was a slow build with a ton of leg work. Tanahashi filled his role well, because the man always delivers in the Tokyo Dome and this is no exception. The crowd goes absolutely bonkers for the man, and he’s earned it. These guys just destroy each other’s legs until Naito’s able to pull off a Destino from the corner, Tana kicks out but gets another Destino for his troubles. Naito wins, which is the absolute correct call. Tanahashi’s fallen on some hard times and we can tell a story with that. These guys are so good at what they do, and made everything count. ****3/4
Oh man, they really kept delivering here. Naito’s my dude. He’s such a perfect heel who does so many little things that make you hate his guts. Los Ingobernables de Japon in general is probably the best stable in all of wrestling right now. This was a slow build with a ton of leg work. Tanahashi filled his role well, because the man always delivers in the Tokyo Dome and this is no exception. The crowd goes absolutely bonkers for the man, and he’s earned it. These guys just destroy each other’s legs until Naito’s able to pull off a Destino from the corner, Tana kicks out but gets another Destino for his troubles. Naito wins, which is the absolute correct call. Tanahashi’s fallen on some hard times and we can tell a story with that. These guys are so good at what they do, and made everything count. ****3/4
Kazuchika Okada def.
Kenny Omega to retain the IWGP Heavyweight Championship
Speaking of “making everything count,” here’s the Okada-Omega match. This should have been the best match of the card with a bullet. Omega’s had an incredible run up to this point, and this was the performance that solidified himself as a superstar in New Japan. That’s not to exclude Okada, who was also incredible here and is absolutely deserving of his title as ace. The issue with the match is that it’s 47 minutes long, and it doesn’t need to be 47 minutes long. The first 20 minutes did not have to be here, and the match suffered for it. The last 27 minutes or so are phenomenal and feature some of the best wrestling you’ll ever see. 27 minutes that make people say that this might be the greatest wrestling match of all time. But it comes after 20 minutes that are slow and pretty weak, and don’t serve much purpose in the match other than adding length. For some reason, New Japan seems to think that making things longer makes them better, which is not the case. You can do a slow burn like they did in Naito-Tanahashi, but you need to make it count. The first 20 minutes here wasn’t a slow burn, and it wasn’t necessarily great in-ring psychology. It was just there. It was filler. When you’ve got Okada and Omega destroying themselves (those table spots…. *kisses fingers chef-style*), you don’t want to drag that down with a flat-out boring first half. It’s frustrating because this could have and should have been better than it was. Though I guess even with the filler some are calling it a perfect match, the greatest match of all time, and Big Davey Melt is giving it six stars. To each their own. ****1/4
Speaking of “making everything count,” here’s the Okada-Omega match. This should have been the best match of the card with a bullet. Omega’s had an incredible run up to this point, and this was the performance that solidified himself as a superstar in New Japan. That’s not to exclude Okada, who was also incredible here and is absolutely deserving of his title as ace. The issue with the match is that it’s 47 minutes long, and it doesn’t need to be 47 minutes long. The first 20 minutes did not have to be here, and the match suffered for it. The last 27 minutes or so are phenomenal and feature some of the best wrestling you’ll ever see. 27 minutes that make people say that this might be the greatest wrestling match of all time. But it comes after 20 minutes that are slow and pretty weak, and don’t serve much purpose in the match other than adding length. For some reason, New Japan seems to think that making things longer makes them better, which is not the case. You can do a slow burn like they did in Naito-Tanahashi, but you need to make it count. The first 20 minutes here wasn’t a slow burn, and it wasn’t necessarily great in-ring psychology. It was just there. It was filler. When you’ve got Okada and Omega destroying themselves (those table spots…. *kisses fingers chef-style*), you don’t want to drag that down with a flat-out boring first half. It’s frustrating because this could have and should have been better than it was. Though I guess even with the filler some are calling it a perfect match, the greatest match of all time, and Big Davey Melt is giving it six stars. To each their own. ****1/4
Overall: B+ Wrestle Kingdom 11 has one of the best runs of four matches you will ever see. Everything from the Jr. Heavyweight match to the end is essential viewing, and I wouldn't argue with any of them as very, very premature Match of the Year candidates. The undercard is largely skippable. Of the first seven matches on the card, I only strongly suggest watching Bucks-RPG Vice and Cole-O'Reilly. The Rumble, Tiger Mask match and the trios match are fun, but you don't need to go out of your way to see them. The gauntlet and Cody match could have been cut from the show entirely. The Tokyo Dome show largely sets the standard of excellence for the year, and this is no different.
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