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Last night, I was having a few drinks and browsing online when I saw a few WrestleMania rumor dumps from Dave Meltzer and the Wrestling Observer. So naturally, I did what any buzzed wrestling fan would do and booked the card based on those rumors. Right now we're in an interesting situation because for the first time in years the winner of the Rumble doesn't seem so predictable, which leaves a lot open. Here's what I think we might be getting this coming April.
#1:
Andre the Giant Battle Royale (Kane, Sami Zayn, Cesaro, Sheamus, Big E, Luke
Gallows, Karl Anderson, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Mark Henry, Luke Harper, Titus
O’Neil, Darren Young, Goldust, R-Truth, Heath Slater, Rhyno, Bo Dallas, Rusev,
Jinder Mahal, Enzo Amore, Big Cass, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Mojo Rawley, Konnor,
Viktor, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, Primo, Epico)
You have to assume that the Andre Battle Royale is
going to be on the card whether on the preshow or the main ticket. I think
because of all the other championships and important matches that need to fit
on the card, the tag championships aren’t booked for the card and are instead
defended on the Post-Mania Raw and Smackdown shows. Usually we get one or two
NXT surprise entrants in the match, but I haven’t included them here.
Unfortunately I figure a few of these people may get injured and may be
replaced. If that’s the case, then Bobby Roode and/or Tye Dillinger replace an
injured person. If all are healthy, assume Roode/Dillinger/whoever else may be
called up is replacing a member of the Ascension, a Shining Star, or a
Vaudevillain. I could also see this being filled with a few cruisers instead of
some of the lower-level tag teams. Of the people we have here, I think with the way they've been building Sami Zayn makes him an early favorite to win the battle royale.
#2:
Shaquille O’Neal vs. Big Show
This has been booked for like a year now, so there’s
really nothing you can do about it. I actually think if they don’t make it too
long it could be fun in a goofy sort of way.
#3:
Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton
Right now, they’re teasing a split in the Wyatt
Family. They will likely split at the Rumble or Elimination Chamber, and this
will be the blowoff. I think we might see Bray actually choose Randy over
Harper (the “weak link”) only for the Viper to turn on him as well, leading to
this match. They’ve been building Harper as a bit of a singles wrestler again,
and I think I’d be interested in seeing them all go their own ways as singles
stars.
#4:
Triple H vs. Seth Rollins: No Holds Barred
Triple H is mostly retired, but he still does Mania, so
you have to assume he gets a spot on the card. Plus, you have to blow off the
Triple H/Rollins feud, and they’ve kicked that can down the road so long you
have to assume it’s because they want the showdown to happen at Mania. I think
this might actually end with Seth going over Trips, marking Triple H’s
full-time retirement and making Seth the future of the company. But it’s a
Triple H match so who the hell knows.
#5:
Neville vs. Gran Metalik: Cruiserweight Championship
I had a thought that they might do the traditional
Mania ladder match with the cruisers and make it a crazy spotfest, but I think
it still makes most sense with the IC title (which I’ll get to). I think if it
is a singles match, this is what we’re going for. Neville is the hottest thing
(and one of the only hot things period) in the cruiserweight division, so I
think he wins the title from Swann at the Rumble. Metalik has been surprisingly
absent from TV. Part of that is because he’s been finishing up dates in Mexico,
but I also think they’re saving him for this. Metalik is the absolute best of
the bunch when it comes to the cruisers. I think they wanted to build up
Alexander, Swann, Gallagher, Ali, Perkins, Kendrick, Tajiri, etc. a bit before
Metalik comes into play because of that. If this is the match they do at Mania
and they get enough time for it, I think there’s a very good chance it’s the
best match on the show.
#6:
Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Nikki Bella: Smackdown Women’s Championship
I think Alexa’s retaining the belt over Becky, and I
think Nikki’s going to transition into her feud with Natalya as a number one
contender for the belt. I added Becky to the mix because I don’t know how you
don’t put probably the most over woman in the Smackdown women’s division on the
card. Depending on who La Luchadora is, we may see her in the mix here as well.
#7:
Bayley vs. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks (vs. Nia Jax?):
Raw Women’s Championship
Ideally, you just have Sasha and Bayley here, but
considering how high WWE is on Charlotte, I think this is at least a triple
threat for the women’s title. The variable is Nia Jax. I think she probably
ends up in the match as well, considering what she can bring to the table and
Raw’s inability to separate women’s feuds.
#8:
Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin vs. Kalisto vs.
Apollo Crews: Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match
I think with the way Smackdown looks right now, this
is your ladder match for Wrestlemania. It sticks with the seeming tradition
that the IC Championship gets a ladder match. A lot of these guys have beef
with each other right now, with a decent number of intertwining storylines.
That makes it perfect for a multi-man ladder match.
#9:
Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens: United States Championship
There’s a lot up in the air with Mania, but this seems
like one of the most obvious matches on the card. Jericho’s leaving the company
to record and tour with Fozzy soon, so you need to have him give away the belt.
You’ve been teasing things going wrong with him and KO for a while now, so it
makes sense to have the blowoff match at Mania. I assume Kev drops the belt to
Roman at the Rumble and KO possibly loses the rematch because of Jericho to set
this up.
#10:
The Undertaker vs. Finn Balor
Okay, so for a while I thought the obvious match here
was Cena vs. Taker in what’s probably the Undertaker’s retirement match. That
doesn’t seem to be the case with Taker now showing up on Raw instead of
Smackdown. I’m not sure he wins the Rumble and goes for the Universal title
though, so I have him with a returning Finn Balor. This is probably my least
confident pick on the card.
#11:
Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg
I thought they might blow Lesnar/Goldberg off at
Fastlane and have one of them going for the Universal title, but right now
Brock’s not advertised for Fastlane, so I think you still have the rematch at
Mania.
#12:
AJ Styles vs. John Cena vs. Samoa Joe: WWE Championship
I think Big Match John is beating AJ at the Rumble to
become a 16-time world champion. However with Hollywood and all that, I don’t
think he’s going to stick around for much longer than Wrestlemania. I think
Samoa Joe is DEFINITELY debuting at the Royal Rumble, and something’s going to
happen in the AJ/Cena title rematch to set up this triple threat. The other way
this is set up is Joe actually winning the Rumble and this match being the main
event, which would be preferred. John loses, setting up a WWE title feud
between just Joe and AJ and OH MY GOD WHAT IF THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED
#13:
Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman: Universal Championship
Rumble winner gets a shot at the championship and main event of Wrestlemania, and I think Braun wins it right now. He’s been kept strong since being split from the Wyatts in the draft, so I think a title match is inevitable, and winning the Rumble makes the most sense for Braun. The fucking SMART MARKS are going to complain about this match but I legit think it could be a load of fun. Certainly better than the wankfest that Seth/Trips is going to
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